whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
