I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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