Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
