Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
