so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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