So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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