Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
