The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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