dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize