I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How many fucks given?
0.12846
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
