Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
