he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
