The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my being single is dangerous.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
