I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
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Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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