I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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