yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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