If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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