He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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