I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
