I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
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Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative