Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner