i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
