There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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