Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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