Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
