and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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