Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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