He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
