Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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