i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
