Kiss
Puke
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize