WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
