Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
