Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We talked him into tasing himself.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
