He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I need to calm my uterus...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize