I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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