just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
