I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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