how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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