I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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