He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
