he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize