i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
