I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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