how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
