I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
