I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize