Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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