We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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