yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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