the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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