did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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